( published 1st March 2004 )

Hi All,

I love to go to the Italian restaurant "I Limoncello". Food is excellent, and staff are nice. Last week though, I managed to "top myself" in stupidity and dumbness. When you order the bill, you always get a liquor offered by the house, a Limoncello. As we were two, and I knew Sylvie does not like that drink, I warned the waiter, when the coffees came, he should bring only one Limoncello, not two. He did that, was on the bill. Well done, Alex. You managed to give orgasmic feelings to all marketing teams in the world: "Don't get two free, buy one instead!" Booooohooooooooooo..

Have a nice week ahead.

An Australian woman was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Jacko. "Jacko! Jacko!" she yelled. Jacko came running in. "Jacko, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "Strewth!" Jacko said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Bluey" (his mate). They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way. We can't do it" Bluey said "Lets try Plan B" "Plan B?" exclaimed Jacko. "What's that"? "I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her" "Spot on" Jacko said. "While your doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits" "Play with her tits"? Bluey said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate"? "No" Jacko replied "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive"

© Alex Alexandrino 2000-2004