( published 26th May 2003 )

Hi All,

last week my Finnish friend Marko gave me a nice description of a typical Finn: when the Finn slips over a banana on the street, his thoughts won't be..."shit, did I hurt myself?" No he will immediately wonder if anyone saw him. Well isn't that typical for anyone? Hmmm, not really: the Italian will think "shit, I hope no woman saw that!" the Luxembourger will think "shit, my Hugo Boss suit", the American "shit, where's my lawyer's phone number?", the Spaniard "OOOOOOOLEEE!", the Frenchman "merde, I was lucky, this could have been shit!" the German "shit, have to call Greenpeace, who on earth polluted the soil by throwing away this banana? It should have been collected by a recycling centre, exported to France,..." And Alex, the little Portuguese? "Hi All, welcome to my morning mail, guess what happened to me yesterday?..."

Have a nice day

Sorry Veronica:
The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, Hey, cut it out, alright. The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.

After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says, I said dont do that again! The rear tiger says sorry again and they continue.

After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop. The rear tiger says, I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and Im just trying to get the taste out of my mouth.

© Alex Alexandrino 2000-2003