( published 23rd January 2003 )

Hi All,

Sorry for my absence I have been traveling. Now I am back at work. Well, in a few minutes, once I have fired this morning mail around the world and hit your inbox. Isn't it bad luck for you? There are millions, trillions of e-mails cruising daily from outbox to inbox, saved, forwarded, replied to, spammed from, still I only send this to roughly 200 people, and you lucky bastard are among them...that's one chance in millions to receive it! Statistically you would have more chances to win the lottery, wouldn't you rather want to win the lottery? Nooooo, of course not, for boys lottery means money, that means trouble, because that means car, because that means Ferrari, because that means nice looking girl, and that means no money anymore! For girls lottery means means shoes, and that means new house for the shoes, and that means no man, because all men are all same they're all after your money, and that means rich man, because he's not after your money, that means divorce, and that means...more money?!? OK, I see, so the boys will continue getting my morning mail, girls, sorry but this was your last one...Ciaooooooo!

( Anyone understood the joke? I didn't ! )

Have a nice day

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you!" "We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you." When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her." "Which word?" the woman asked." "Love." The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven. About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?" "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?" her husband asked. "You have to spell a word," the woman told him. "Which word?" her husband asked. "Czechoslovakia."

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry.... there'll be Hell to pay later.

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© Alex Alexandrino 2000-2002