Golden Oldies
( published 21st November 2002 )

Hi All,

every day I enjoy reading my Luxemburger Wort, the local catholic boring paper. Only Luxembourgers can really enjoy and understand it. Don't ask me why, I simply love it ( although I miss reading the other people's Sun on the train to London every morning ).

One of my favourite pages is the local news, with pictures of old school reunions. The other day I looked at this picture with some 15 oldies smiling at the camera ( who the hell actually goes and takes those pictures ) in front of some restaurant. Under the picture a comment: Class of 1967 reunited at Pizzeria XXX in Esch! Waaaow, and thousands of Luxembourgers get excited with this, me included. I thought "Hehehe, don't look very fresh. Looks like the picture was taken AFTER the meal!" Then I laughed at those old bastards looking so ridiculously old...until I realised that 1967 was not the school year these people attended, but their year of birth. I was born 1964...I...was born...1964. BOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......

Have a nice day

This guy is standing outside on his balcony on the 5th floor of his apartment when he spots this gorgeous babe sunbathing on the 3rd floor balcony wearing the skimpiest bathing suit he's ever seen. He watches her for 3 days straight, and can't stand it any longer. He sends down a note on a piece of string: ''If you want me to make love to you please pull on the string once. If not please pull slowly 20 times and then faster another 10."