( published 19th June 2002 )
Do you remember the most embarrassing moment in your life? I do! And no, Barry, it was not the first day I showed up in Nordea bank London in a green shirt, and my boss Mick wanted to send me home to get changed.
It actually happened when I was 12 in Algarve. I remember it so well because I was there last Sunday, right in the restaurant where it happened. Back then I was having lunch with my parents in this packed "Jul-Bar". My dad stood up to go to the men's room, and when he came back I had the splendid idea of playing gentleman and holding him the chair...Hesitations, will I do it? Naaaa!...Ooooh yes!...Oooooleeeeeee, I pulled the chair away from under my father's body, and I still remember seeing him losing his balance and like in slow motion fall down to the floor. My dad was still falling when I regretted my mistake already, but too late. 50 people saw my father lying on the floor, the 12-year old son holding the chair in his hands. Thank God he hadn't hurt himself, but he was furious. He stood up, looked around, grabbed the chair, and sat down in silence. That was my punishment, the silence!
Sorry dad, is your ass still aching? I have to admit that since that day I am always watching when my father is standing behind me. Of course I trust him, but..."la vengeance est un repas qui se mange froid"..."revenge is a meal you eat cold" ( does that exist in English? ),so...?
Have a great day
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you're doing?"
One of the Japanese men says, "We are all berry hungry."
The waitress says, "So how is whacking off in this restaurant going to help that situation?"
Another businessman replies, "Because menu say, first come first served."
( I know, I know, I promise you a better one tomorrow )
If you want to have my morning mail in your Inbox every morning, click here