( published 14th June 2002 )

Hi All,

No morning mail yesterday as I was travelling from Luxembourg to London.

Did you know that French make jokes about Belgians same way as English do about Irish? And very often the subject they choose is french fries, because I suppose Belgians are ( or were ) large potato producers ( and fries consumers - with mayonnaise please ). So the common jokes are: "Pourquoi est-ce que les Belges lechent les murs? Parce que les murs s'effritent!" ( Why do Belgians lick the walls? Because the walls "break down / are fries" ). How do you get 100 Belgians into a car? Put french fries in it. I know, I know, it's sad and cruel, and not that funny.

But sometimes I think those Belgians who I really like because they are always nice to me, are looking for trouble. On the motorway you see huge signs warning the driver: "Tu t'es vu, quand t'as bu?" ( Have you seen yourself, when you drink! ), then a few kilometres on you see an invite to a restaurant "MOULES FRITES AVEC UN VERRE DE VIN - EUROS 7.50 / DEUXIEME VERRE GRATUIT" ( Mussels with french fries and glass of wine - euros 7.50 / second glass free ). Tu t'es vu, quand t'as bu?

Have a nice day

An old one:
A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species
of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very
difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian
determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse,
there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting
on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part time
redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ed, like
most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy
a female of ANY species. So, the park administrators thought they might
have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be
willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Ed showed some interest,
but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The
following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only
under three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her." "Secondly, you
must never tell anyone about this." The park administration quickly
agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Ed, "You gotta give me another week to come up with
the $500."

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