( published 31st May 2002 )
Harhar I have a system that never fails to get up early in the mornings. I usually use my Nokia mobile as an alarm clock, and place it somewhere in the bedroom far enough from the bed to force me to stand up and switch it off. Usually when I'm very tired, I decide to go back to sleep for another 15 minutes, and I start fiddling around on my mobile to set the new Alarm clock time. I usually get lost with all the buttons and functions, so I have to restart again, and again. By the time I have found what I want my eyes are totally open, and I don't feel like going back to sleep again. Voila! ( dangerous for the mobile though, as one morning I might throw that stupid ggrmmbll machine out of the window...)
Have a nice weekend
Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working so she calls a repairman. Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the cheque. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my Bull Dog, he want bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"
When the repair man arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest Bull Dog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business. The Parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird !" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
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