( published 14th May 2002 )
I discovered a very cheap restaurant in London on Sunday. What I had for £5.00 only: as many sandwiches as I liked, as many crisps as I wanted, ulimited orange juice, water, tea and coffee. Plus biscuits. And and and, a nice ( now I'm exaggerating ) white T-shirt. Nice, isn't it?
Well there is a drawback to all this I have to admit: first of all it happens only once a year, and secondly one has to run...5 miles to get it. It was part of the package of this year's Round the Isle of Dogs Race...so, so, so that means...I had to pay, then deliver my gracious body and torture my poor legs in a tiring race, only to discover my stomach was too upset to enjoy the food afterwards???
Have a nice day
Toward the end of the golf course, Harry somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.
Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF! in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life; as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
Then POOF! she was gone.
After Harry got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred. "Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the Pussywillows."
Harry yells back......"DON'T SWING FRED!!! For God sake, DON'T SWING!!"