Strike French Style
( published 8th May 2002 )

Dear Sarah,

I had promised to organise a poll amongst the 180 recipients who receive my morning mail every day about how many different names they know for a penis. I failed. I got all in all 3 answers in 24 hours ( sorry, plus an interesting invite from a guy in Luxembourg for you to discover his "old friend". I can give you his e-mail address if you so wish, hehe ):

They were:


Decke Saack

( thanks to those who took the 15 seconds to press reply, type the words, and "Send" ). So now I will do it "French style". If I don't get 50 different names ( in any language ) by Thursday evening, there won't be any morning mail and joke on Friday. "The management has to understand that the worker's effort has to be rewarded".

I wish you all a nice day with plenty of smiles on your way to work ( hahaha, I doubt it )


"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
f you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you