Fluent in Finnish
( published 30th April 2002 )

Hi Nathalie,

I am in Finland today, and once again I understand why I might be pretty fluent in so many languages but Finnish. As I know you're coming over on Friday, here some advice if you want to use the language during your meetings.

Please be aware that when you want to say "Go to the point", pronounce it properly as "Asian", and not "Aasian", which means "Go to Asia". Then there is the famous one I always have wrong in Finnish canteens "punajuri" ( sorry bad spelling, never will have those ones right ), which is beetroot ( very popular in Finland ). I always ask for "junapuri", which means "train that bites me" or something similar. Finally, very very important, never ever use the Finnish "Katso Merda" ( Watch the sea ) in Italy, because there it means "Dick up the...yes, exactly".

Enjoy Finland!

Have a nice day


A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable infidelity. Suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily the woman tosses it out the car window. Driving behind the couple is a man and his 8-year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the pickup on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?" Not wanting to expose his 8-year-old daughter to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey." The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?!!"