Shut Up Alex
( published 23rd April 2002 )
Last week in Birmingham I met with a few participants of the Treasurers Conference at the hotel bar. It was good to discuss other things than work. I had a chat with a girl from South Africa, just remembering the fantastic holiday Karine and I spent there 5 years ago ( shit, already that long ). After a while we came to speak about John Travolta, and I mentioned this girl was too young when the movie was released. "By the way, may I ask you how old you are?" "27", came the answer. Silence, and my comment: "Really? You are much older than you look!" And there heavy silence at the bar for a couple of seconds. Heads turned around, eyes started rolling. Ed thought: "Didn't he just insult her??"
Yes my friends, the typical difference between the half empty and the half full glass, in order to be politically correct I should have said: "Really? You look much younger than you are!" Exactly same thing, but sounds better. So please ladies and gentlemen, whatever I say to you ( and that's usually a lot ), I always manage to say it wrong and in the most complicated fashion. But then again it's challenging for you. It always gives you something to think about.
Have a nice day
P.S. Ed, if you give me ONE SINGLE comment on this one, I drop the Acropolis story tomorrow... :-) Is that clear??
Gerard Houllier ( Liverpool's football coach ) was looking to sign some new players to help Liverpool's
title push, so he sent his chief scout to Afghanistan to search for some
Sure enough, the scout finds an outstanding 18 year old striker and they
immediately sign him up on a three year deal. On getting back to England,
Houllier takes one look at him in training and immediately puts him in the
starting line up for the big home game against Newcastle.
The lad was fantastic, he scores a hat trick and creates four more as
Liverpool trounce Newcastle 7 - 0.
Ecstatic after the game the young lad phones his mum to tell her the good
news. "Mum" he says "I've just made my debut and had a great game! The team
loves me, the fans love me, and the press loves me. Life is great!"
"Well," says his mum, "I'm glad life is good for you. Shall I tell you what
happened to us today? Your Dad's been murdered in the high street. Your
sister and I were raped and beaten in broad daylight, and your brother's
joined a vicious gang of killers."
"Mum, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry".
"Sorry?!", she yells down the phone. "You're fucking sorry?! It's your
fucking fault that we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"