Birmingham
( published 16th April 2002 )
www.alexandrino.com

Bonjour,

Hey, the sun will shine today again. But not for me, I'll be standing in Birmingham in a huge conference hall without windows showing some hundreds of treasury people how essential Trezone is ( for those who still don't know what I do for a living,...don't bother ).

I am staying right here at the same hotel, a Hilton like in Antwerp one month ago. The difference is in Antwerp I had wireless internet connection ( although it only worked in my bathroom ), and here I don't even get a normal simple outright phone connection. But this is England, you see? So I don't know if this mail will ever go out.

Other funny thing confirming what I said months ago about Britain's attitude towards satelite TV and foreign channels; while in any international hotel across Europe, your room TV shows German, French, Italian channels alongside the usual UK and US ones, this 4 star one does show exactly 5 channels ( BBC1, BBC2, ITV, Channel 4, Channel 5 ). They really insist on me watching the porn movie...at £7.95, doesn't come cheap though. But nothing to worry about, it says here, on the bill it will only show "Room Service". Hmmmmm, yes, it might actually be it is the only item marked as room service, so in the end one will suspect it's a porn movie anyway.

Have a nice day
Alex

An old one, but still funny:

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, "Why so glum?" The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!" "Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" "Sure," the man said, "I love to drink." "Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whisky, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!" The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great." "You a smoker?" the demon asked. "You better believe it!" "You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?" "Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!" The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble." "Why yes, as a matter of fact I do." "Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?" The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ." "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!" "Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realised Hell was such a cool place!" The demon said, "You gay?" "No." "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."