( published 27th March 2002 )
Another Mine-Yours story today:
When I was a trader at Union Bank of Finland Luxembourg, one of the cool things we used back then to do our trades was our Reuters Dealing machine ( actually still used today ). In the beginning of 90's, before Internet chat rooms, banks could communicate with each others and do money market or foreign exchange deals directly via this Reuters machine. A chat/deal looked like this:
-HI FRDS MOM
#YOURS 5 AT 1.8080 DEUT FFT 4 ME VAL #18/02/90 TKS NICE PRICE BIBI
-SECPAC NY 4 US FRDS TKS 4 DEAL BI
#Usd/Dem in 5 mio Usd please
- Hi friends moment
- My bid price 1.8080 / my offer price 1.8082
#yours-I sell you- 5mio Usd against Dem at 1.8080 #please pay my Dem to Deutsche Bank Frankfurt #value date 18/02/90 thank you nice price bye bye
-Secpac NY for us friends thank you for the deal -bye bye )
As you can see text messages are too slow for an average dealer. We even had a customisable ABBR function that allowed us to display one whole ready made sentence. Example:
ABBR TK ENTER = THANK YOU FRDS BUT NOTHING THERE FOR ME
ABBR NP ENTER = VERY NICE PRICE BUT CANNOT TOUCH IT
I tried to have funny ones, for example abbr "FO" ( as in "fuck off" ) showed on the screen: "Sorry friends but finished for today". But this played me a dirty trick once.
5pm, one Friday afternoon, Austrian bank calling me on Reuters:
#HI MY FRD
#ANY CHANCE FOR A LATE PRICE IN 1 WEEK FIM DEPO?
#OK NOTED BI
Stupid Alex had forgotten to push the ABBR button before typing. Doooooh! The bank never called us again!
Have a nice day
An old one, but I love it:
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear? ", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night? " The husband looks up from his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16? " he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love? " "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The Husband continued.
"Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years? " "I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today!!