Mine - Yours
( published 13th March 2002 )
In foreign exchange ( FX ) and money market trading world you deal with other banks either directly or via brokers. A trader has an open phone line to several brokers who show him the open prices available through them in the market. You want to buy/borrow, you shout "Mine" into the line, you want to sell/lend you shout "Yours" into the line.
My very first deal as a "Junior Dealer" took place some dull afternoon in Union Bank of Finland Luxembourg, 10 years ago,...no 12 years ago...no, shit, 14 years ago already!!!!! Marianne, my boss ( hi Marianne, SEEEENNDD MEEEE A POOOOOOSTCARD! ), was once again flirting on the phone with Lars ( yes Lars, she was, yes she was!! ). It was very quiet, when our broker Neil from Fulton's told me through the line: "Marianne, I offer 3 months Finnmark at XXX !" I look over to relaxed/cool/smiling/dreaming Marianne and say: "Fulton offers 3 months FIM at XXX..." and suddenly she looks over to me and shouts: "MIINE"! I panic, start sweating heavily, holding my receiver, not knowing what to do, I look over to her again, back to the receiver, press Fulton's line button, and shout over to Neil: "OOOOOURS!"
There went my credibility as a trader with my very first transaction...well, at least I showed a good team spirit!
Have a nice day
Ex-lousy Trader Alex
A son decides that he must finally place his elderly father in an nursing home. Both the son and the father are depressed, but the deed is finally done. The first day there, the old man is sitting in his room, stewing about the whole deal when a beautiful nurse comes in and proceeds to give him a blow job. Later, he calls his son and says, "Son! I know I said I'd hate it here and I'd never forgive you, but I was wrong. I love it here! I just got the best blow job of my life! Wow, what a great place!" The son is obviously relieved about this. The next day, the father decides to go out of his room and take a walk. A few steps down the hall, he drops his cane. As he bends over to pick it up, a male orderly comes up behind him and takes him in the ass. The father calls his son back. "Son! I was wrong. I hate it here! I just dropped my cane and got sodomized by someone" The son tries to be helpful and says, "Oh, but Dad, you gotta take the good with the bad. Remember the beautiful nurse and the blow job?" "Yeah," says the father, "but son, I only get a hard-on once a month. I drop my goddamn cane two dozen times a day!"
This joke could only come from an old Swedish Trader...