Mobile Phones
( published 8th March 2002 )


Hi All,

our lives are much more fun since mobile phones are around. Who hasn't been in at least one of the following situations:

- you are in the Royal Albert Hall watching "Madame Butterfly". The main character is dying, suddenly someone's mobile rings ( a classic - not only the opera! )

- you talk into a Nokia Communicator and cannot hear anything ( on a Communicator, one talks with the mobile facing down )

- you have 2 mobile phones ( private and professional ) and you inadvertently switch on "Call Divert" from one to the other. Nobody can reach you, and imagine the ping pong when someone calls you: "Your call is being diverted"...pip..."Your call is being diverted"...pip...

- your mobile rings. You look for it, by the time you have reached it, it stops ringing. Cleverly you check your "Missed Calls", but it's a private number. This was an important call, so you call back that person convinced it was him/her, but you only get his/her voicemail, because meantime he/she is talking into YOUR voicemail. Annoyed you leave a message like:" I know you're trying to call, please try again." And you hang up! Then your mobile indicates a new voice message in your inbox, so you call out your voice mail, and you hear: "You really are always hanging on the phone. Call me whenever you can." So you hang up and, surprise, you have another missed call. No wonder, the other person heard your message, and tries to call YOU back again. And so on.

Shit, I had many many more, but this morning mail is already too long sorry. Please send me your stories. It would be fun to publish those.

Have a nice weekend


P.S. Thanks again Darren who was the only one yesterday to react to my morning mail "English Food" with the comment: "What do you put in your coffee?"

A husband and wife attend a small service at the local church one Sunday morning. The man was very moved by the preacher's sermon, so he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Reverend replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house." "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!" The Reverend replied, "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!" "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, that I put $5,000 in the collection plate." The Reverend's eyes opened wide as he remarked, "No Shit!"