Lake District 2002
( published 4th February 2002 )

Hi All,

I am back from a very nice and relaxing weekend ( Jura, OK now? ) in the Lake District, up north of England. We were 10 to do some hiking in that area.

Now I know most of them receive this morning mail, and some might expect me to write about our "adventures", unfortunately apart from the fact I was unfit and an even bigger pain in the ass than usual
( "WHAT, NOT THAT RESTAURANT AGAIN...!" ), everything was fairly straight forward. The singer and guitar player Stan in the "Stagger's Inn" is still singing the same 20 songs ( "American Pie", "Angel", "Dixie" ), but in a different order. Pat wanted to hear Robbie William's "Millennium", but as Stan couldn't remember the lyrics, he sang "Angel" again instead. "Anyone with a special wish?" he kept on asking, and when someone asked for Eagle's "Hotel California", the answer was "Sorry, can't do that one, but especially for you I will sing "Angel", OK? harharharhar.....OK? harharhar...OK ( please pronounce "Okkkkkaaaayy" )?"

See, I told you I was a pain in the ass. Never happy...

I wish you a very nice day anyway ( yes, I mean it )....oooh, by the way, Chris, can you please send me that fartfile of yours, so I forward it to the lads? Thanks...


Here some ideas of "Out-of-Office Assistant" messages, if you're not inspired:
1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.
4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Pointy-Haired Boss's cell phone number here).
5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.
7. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
8. Oops! Did you really mean to cc that to the whole department?
9. I have been abducted by aliens. My only hope of rescue was to change my auto-reply and hope that someone will pass on this information to Fox Mulder.
10. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
11. Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.
12. For job offers over $100K, please send a fax to Baja Beach club, Honolulu.
13. Excellent idea! I've set up a meeting for you, the Pointy-Haired Boss, and the Pointy-Haired VP for tomorrow at 7:00a.m sharp! Just walk in.
14. I've run away to join a different circus.
15. Hey, I'm really here today. I just couldn't answer your e-mail before this automatic thing started.