Stock Market
( published 3rd January 2002 )

Happy New Year

Hi All,

Today let's focus on this year's stock market.

The "Alex Weightsie Index" has started this year on an all-time high of 81, due especially to a lack of investment last year in sports shares and an over investment in food and drinks sector. This year all specialists are forecasting a continuation in the uptrend, although this would mean an overheating in the health sector, and especially a possible overshooting of frustration share prices.

Everybody agrees a more sustainable level would stand around 75, and our dear Federal Reserve Guru Karine Rapin is trying to convince the markets to start investing more into sports stocks and less in food shares. The short term expectation is a drop towards more sustainable levels of 79 ( end of January ), with then an acceleration of the downtrend towards 75 in the second quarter of the year.

Buy: Volleyball shares, mountainbike shares, London triathlon, London-Paris in cycling
Sell: Luxembourg sausages, Portuguese hotpot
Reduce: Croissant shares from 2 to 1 !!

Good Luck and Happy 2002


A little old lady with blue hair entered the sex shop and asked in a quavering voice, "Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell-l d-dildoes h-here?" The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady's appearance in his shop, answered, "Uh, yes ma'am. We do." The little old lady, holding her quivering hands about ten inches apart, asked, "D-do y-you ha-ave an-ny ab-bb-bout th-this lon-ong?" "Well, yes ma'am, we do. We have several that size." Forming a five-inch circle with her fingers, she then asked, "A-are an-nny of t-them ab-b-bout thi-is b-big ar-round-d?" "Well yes, ma'am, a few of them are about that big." "D-do aa-ny of t-them ha-ave a v-v-vibra-a-ator?" "Yes, ma'am, one of them does." "W-w-ell th-then, h-how d-do yo-ou t-turn it off?"