What Time is it?
( published Thursday, 20th December 2001 )

Hi All,

A few weeks ago I had lunch with an old friend in a Chinese restaurant overlooking the Thames, close to Westminster Bridge, just opposite the House of Parliaments. The view on the bridge and Westminster was great. Food was excellent. I needed to go back to the office and asked my friend: "Do you know what time it is?" He looked at me with a "Right!" type of smile on his face. "What?" did I ask, and slowly my friend ignoring me turned his face towards the river. I still didn't get it. Then I followed his look and saw a huge clock right in front of my nose...Big Ben! "Hmmm, right, it's quarter past two...yesyesyes!...Soooooorry!"

Have a nice day


Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."