( published Monday, 17th December 2001 )

Good morning All,

The bloke who invented the beard ( God, Allah, fate, Sir Evolution, etc ) must have been the same who invented sleepless nights. If I had a beard I would spend hours awake in bed wondering if I should sleep with the beard over or under the quilt. Hmmm, sleepless nights ahead!!

I don't have a beard. And I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't help wondering if I would sleep with my beard over or under the quilt if I had one ( beard, not quilt ). So, conclusion? Men with or without beard don't sleep well.

Have a nice week ahead


A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," replies the man and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. The man, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, the man replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle too?!"