I did it Again
( published Monday, 12th November 2001 )


Sitting on my 6.23 train this morning I was still wondering what I could possibly write about in this morning mail. Then as usual fate came along and gave me a push ( I must admit, I provoke it very often ).

I went to the local coffee shop and bought myself a coffee and 2 croissants, then used my code to get into the building where my office is located. But then, shock, scandal, horror, no key to get into the office. Forgot it at home. Doooh!

This is why, at 6.52am, I am sitting on the stairs, just outside my office, waiting for the first of my colleagues to show up with a key ( 8.10, 8.15 if I'm lucky ). My dear American friends, let me tell you that what you call "notebook" really deserves the name of "laptop" over here. Aaaah, someone came in....shit no, it's an Italian from upstairs ( Piaggio ). Bastard, he didn't even invite me in...Must have lived in London for too long. I don't understand. I even shaved today. Let me guess: had it been a good looking blonde in mini skirt, he wouldn't have resisted, would he? Know what? Just stay in your corner, I'll stay in mine. I have my coffee, my croissants, a book, what else do I really need?

Have a nice day - you will eventually get this mail.


Translated from German ( I've got time, haven't I ) and for ladies:

A man in a bookshop: "Excuse me, I am looking for the book "Men - the strong Sex"? Answer: "Sure, science fiction is in the back of the shop."

How do men sort their laundry? - In 2 piles:
1) Dirty
2) Dirty, but wearable!

Her: "Darling, my colleagues told me I have fantastic legs!"
Him: "Ohh yeah? And have they said anything about your fat ass?"
Her: "Hmmm, no, we didn't talk about you..."

And finally, some good old, basic, traditional Portuguese humour:
A little boy in the pharmacy: "Can you please give me a box of...?"
Chemist: "Shall we put this on mommy's account?"
Boy: "No, we'll put it into Daddy's arse..."