Excuse My French
The French have a strange way to pronounce the letter "Q". It's pronounced the same way as the word "cul", which means "arse". For those of you who are a bit into arts, the following might then make sense: in 1919 Marcel Duchamp, a famous dadaist painter, took a postcard representing Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa", and painted a moustache and goatee beard on her face. This piece is now worth millions. He called it "L.H.O.O.Q." . Pronouncing the letters in French ( Ell-Hash-Oooo-Oooo-Quuu - excuse my phonetics ), it sounds like the French: "Elle a chaud au cul" ( she is hot in the arse ).
In scrabble one can have funny conversations, like: "Je prends mon Q, et je le place a cote de ton P." ( Litterally, I take my arse, and put it next to your fart - P=pet=fart ). And it's not a coincidence if in French, toilet paper is called PQ ( phonetically derived from papier-cul ).
Finally did you know that the famous Dijon mustard is actually produced near a little town called "Moncul" ( my arse )? But of course, if a lady told you: "Honey, do you want some more mustard from my arse?", I doubt you would enjoy your sausage...
See, Baz? ( Seabass, hohoho...sorry ) I can also write cultural morning mails!!!
Have a nice day
A sweet young thing took her seat on opening day of her college class. The young man behind her tapped her on the shoulder and said, "What are you doing, wearing a football jersey?" She replied, "Why, I bought it and own it, why shouldn't I wear it?" He said, "You're not supposed to wear it unless you've made the team." "Oh," she replied sweetly, "Who did I miss?"
Okokok, for the usual feminist moaners, here's another one:
What do you call a man with half a brain? > Gifted. What's the difference between government bonds and men? > Bonds Mature. What did god say after creating man? > I can do better. Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what? I went to the County Fair. They had one of those "Believe it or not" Shows... They had a man born with a penis and a brain