Friday, 26th October 2001

Commercial Morning Mail
www.alexandrino.com

EUROFOOTIE 2001/2002 DAYS -11

Dear Kevin,

I am coming back to some of the comments you made about my beloved morning mail a few days ago. I will ignore what you said about your feelings when you read my stories ( "...as I start to read it I immediately sink into a spiral of depression and despair ..." ) to concentrate on the end of your paragraph, where you mention the following about my tales around Brussels, Eurotunnel, IKEA, B&Q, One2One, Luxembourg, Portugal etc: "...I sense a conspiracy here, could it be that Alex is really the codename of a fiendishly clever advertising campaign on behalf of the above companies/places?..." Please note, my dear friend, that I would never ever give a commercial tone to my morning mails, because I respect you all too much.

So now that this has been cleared, why don't you all take some time off, and spend some vacation down in Algarve during November?? My flat is available for a smashing price of 30.00/day, any day between 6th November and 6th December ( details about the flat can be found here.

Right, now that all this has been cleared I wish you all an excellent weekend.

:-) Alex

A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant, buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine and on the way home he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way.

"Well, OK," he says, "How a 'bout a blow job?" "EEEEyyyyyyeeeewwwwwww!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!"

He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?" "Well," he answers, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that."

So he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain. "What's wrong?!" she cries out.

"TAKE YOUR THUMB OFF OF THE END!!!!!!"