Wednesday, 17th October 2001

How to Unsubscribe

Hi All,

I will today show you what to do if you want to unsubscribe my morning mail. But,...before that, here some advice on how to subscribe or to read it:

A. How to subscribe
1. Ask me
2.Apply from my fantastic website
3. In some cases, you might get it without asking, and without applying ( tough! )

B. How to read it
1.Wake up
2. Go to work
3. Log in
4. Go to the Gents/Ladies, look into the mirror and say to yourself: "At this time of the morning, the Mona Lisa in the Louvre in Paris is already smiling, why can't I?"
5. Go back to your desk
6. Start reading my mail and feel the relief filling your body, as you discover someone's brain out there is more damaged than yours
7. If you are in the States, go back to sleep, this will only apply to you in 8 hours

C. How to unsubscribe
1. You can't
2. Ok, if you insist:
3. send me an e-mail and ask
4. You will receive an e-mail with subject "Are you sure?"
5. send me an e-mail and ask again
6. I will unsubscribe you, but will continue sending it, just in case you made a mistake
7. send me an e-mail and threaten me
8. I will continue sending it, and will answer you I always knew you were a funny person, and your joke about strangling me was really good and could be reutilised in one of my future morning mails
9. Give up, and go straight to B. 1.Wake up etc ( This unsubscription area directly taken from Microsoft's marketing strategy )

Have a nice day


An aging pirate of the high seas was talking with a mate one day about his pending retirement.

"You ought to be compensated for your peg leg, hook for a hand and the patch on your eye," said the mate. "You might want to check it out before retiring."

So the pirate went to the compensation board to see for himself.

"How did you lose your leg?" asked the clerk behind the counter. "Well me and my maties was sailing the high seas one day when the boom swang around and knocked me into the water and a shark got me leg." Replied the pirate.

"OK", said the clerk, "How did you lose your hand?" "Well me and my maties were sailing the high seas one day and the boom swang around and knocked me into the water and a shark got me hand."

The clerk wrote down his response again, looked up, noticing the patch on his eye asked, "Is that how you lost your eye? "Oh no, said the pirate, One day me and the maties were sailing the high seas and a sea gull landed on the boom. I looked up and it shit in me eye." "You don't loose an eye that way!" scoffed the clerk. "But it was the first day with me new hook!" the pirate cried.