Friday, 12th October 2001

Vive la Merde

Good morning,

God, I should have written this morning mail last night. I was in a very good mood. This morning? Hmmm, not so sure anymore....What?? You try to be nice and friendly at 6am !! And without coffee...Well with the weekend, sunshine, 29 degrees and sunbathing on my balcony in London, I'm sure things will improve.

Yesterday I read that in Paris dog owners will be fined FRF 1,000 to FRF 1,300 ( about EUR 200.00 - hahaha OKOK for you Brits, still need to translate --> 125.00 ) for not picking up their dogs' shit on the streets. The famous Parisian "motos-crottes" ( shitbikes, hehe ) collect 16 tons of brownish mixture from our dear friends on daily basis, and ambulances collect 650 people who injured themselves because of the remaining lot ( what the hell were the motos-crottes doing? ) per year. But the mayor of Paris has already announced the contracts with the shitbike companies will cease as per 2004.

So be happy, FRF 1,300 per dump in Paris, that puts French dogshit at more expensive level than caviar, and from 2004 onwards, there will be more shit available for everyone. Great, isn't it??? ( hmm, wonder if price will come down with the higher offer,....). Someone told me once French are so full of shit, now I know where the expression comes from.

Have a nice w/e


A couple were wanting to get a Barbie set for their daughter and went to the toy shop.
"How much are the Barbie sets?" they asked. "Depends on which one - they're all different" said the assistant "What's that one?"
"That's ski-ing Barbie complete with skis - $ 50.00" "And that one?"
"That's cycling Barbie with bicycle and helmet - $ 56.00" "That One?"
"Cooking Barbie - complete with cooker - $ 70.00"
They then point to one at the end of the shelf "How much is that one there?"
"Well, that's Divorced Barbie and is a special set and costs $ 300" "$ 300!!! - why? - when all the others are around $ 50?"
"It's a Special set - Divorced Barbie comes complete with Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Business and all of Ken's other stuff!!"

Some will find this hilarious, others less...

P.S. Can anyone tell me why my very efficient spellcheck wants me to change "shitbike" to "shtick" ???????????