Shut up and Listen
I'm famous for talking first, thinking later. That has already played me dirty tricks in the past.
A guy in Luxembourg asked me once why people called me Alex, as my real first name is Alberto ( ...yes, it is: OKOKOK, I can already see all those e-mails with "Hi, AAAAAlbertooooo !!! ). I answered: "Well, after my surname Alexandrino." "That's weird," he said. "No, I replied, a friend of mine is called Alain Richartz, and everybody calls him Richie. Look your name is Jean Nossem, people could call you Nossi..." Ooooopss: A "Nossi" in Luxembourg is a retarded person. Never saw the guy again. Sooorry!
Yesterday I had another glorious one: my car's steering lock was blocked, so I called the AA ( Automobile Association ) to have the problem fixed. A very, very serious lady asked for all my details. It was after 5 pm, I was getting ready for going home, I was in a good mood, she asked in a severe manner: "Is the car standing outside your house?" and I didn't find anything better to say than: "Well, I don't think it's standing in my lounge....." ( Silence ) ....( extremely painful silence )....Me:"Sorry, that was a stupid joke!" The lady continued as if nothing had happened. I'm lucky the guy actually came to fix the car. Sooorrrryyy !
Have a nice day
A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation, talked too much. He proudly told his wife that he'd recently heard that men use 2200 words a day, while women use more than 4400 words a day
His wife pondered his comments for a moment, and then concluded, "That's because women have to repeat everything they say to their husbands."
The husband looked up and asked, "Come again?"
A couple who'd been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?"He moved over and sat close to her.
"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?" He reached over and held her tight.
"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?"
With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room. "Where are you going?" she asked. "Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth."