Monday, 10th September 2001


Hi All,

Sorry for Friday, but I was in Finland, where my laptop needed a servicing. So, no Internet access for me.

I remember an episode of my holiday that made me feel very,very lonely this summer. It happened on a camping site in southern France. I needed desperately to go to the toilet, and rushed into the first one I found on the site. Bad luck, no light, but I could see a bit from under the door. Bad luck again the door didn't lock, so I basically had to push it to keep it closed. Bad luck yet again, the loo was what French call a "turkish toilet", in other words a hole. You stand on 2 purpose built "places" over the hole and do your thing. Now there I was, holding the door, and I couldn't reach the hole without letting the door go. I was desperate for a "dump", and I got a shock. Turning around I saw the hole was covered with "you know what". One person couldn't have done all that. What to do??? I was still standing there, wondering, when someone outside pushed the door and tried to come in. I desperately held to the door. And here the dilemma. If I opened the door, the guy would come in and see what a dirty pig I am when seeing the shit all over the place. And if I didn't I would shit in my pants.

Believe me, those are moments in your life where you feel very very lonely.

Have a nice day


Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook. The first old guy said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved his morning, I cut my face." The second old fogey one-upped him and said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers." The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times!"