Monday, 6th August 2001

What They don't Tell You!


As promised a list of things you might not be aware of:

Natwest: I wanted to use their online facilities, because they always told me you can do money transfers online. What they hadn't told me, is you can only transfer money from one of your Natwest accounts to another of your Natwest accounts. That's fun: everybody knows I own 20 Natwest accounts, and I spend my time transferring funds from one account to the other. What about the other transfers then?? Send a cheque!!!

BMW: If you own a 1992 BMW325, the original BMW rear exhaust part will cost you 140.00 here in the UK,...if it's a left hand drive. Because if it's a right hand drive, tough luck, it's 270.00. The difference between the 2 ? One is the mirror image of the other, that's all. Ahh yes, and mine had to be ordered from Germany ( took 2 days at no extra price ), the expensive one is available in the UK any time.

Eurostar: I once needed to travel from Paris to London by Eurostar. I booked a ticket with Eurostar UK ( one-way Paris-London ). Then in Paris my meeting ended earlier than expected. As I didn't want to wait 3 hours for my train, I tried to exchange my ticket for an earlier one. "Oh no, Sir, a ticket booked in the UK can only be exchanged in the UK. We could only help you, if you had ordered your ticket in France." Cute, isn't it?

Eurotunnel: I have already explained how the same fare Folkestone-Calais-Folkestone will cost one price to an Englishman, another price to a Frenchman, and yet again another price to a German. What is not so funny, is that Eurotunnel sent a nice letter warning in future they would charge my credit card for extra funds, because I usually only use the first leg of my trips ( one way ticket: 180.00 , one day return: 13.00, errrrr am I stupid or what? ). Big Brother is watching me.

Sky Digital: There one can experience a nice war between satellite TV providers, unfortunately it looks like the only winner will be Sky. 200 channels you can choose from, sports, movies, documentaries, series, great stuff, but apart from some Hindi MTV channels,nothing foreign, not one single French channel, not one single German channel, not one single Japanese channel...Not even TV5, that weird French channel one can watch in every bloody hotelroom in the world,...except in England.

Aaaaaahhh, feeling much better now, as I could get rid of my anger. I wish you all an excellent week ahead.


After all this, here the

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.