Tuesday, 31st July 2001

Active Weekend II


I boasted yesterday about my new acquisition, a Polar watch to measure my heart rate while running or cycling. Still I forgot to mention a few basic rules of usage ( not detailed in their user guide ):

- Do not forget to put on your transmitter belt ( around your chest ). Honest, while running you can press any button of the watch, it won't work.
- Stop watching your little instrument every second while running or cycling. I think it might be dangerous. In the parks there are obstacles called lampposts, and on the roads there are big things called cars. Believe me, they are tougher than you are.
- Do not let your legs off the pedals, when riding down a steep hill. I tried that yesterday, and my best friend between the legs still remembers ( don't even try it to test your brand new cycling pants )
- An average mountainbike speedometre will always have a Vmax function, maximum speed reached during a certain tour. Your Polar has NOT got an HRmax, heartrate maximum. I suppose these people want to avoid tickling your fighting spirit, and don't want you to try and beat the latest "record" ( "Yeaaahh, 220, I made it,.....arrrrgllll Heart attack )
- Note: I have been beating my "record" every day without really looking for it. It just comes naturally after the first 2 kilometres of running.
- Parks are fun, but stop running over the grass. It's amazing how much shit those bloody dogs can make. Once you step into it, you can try to run faster but the smell won't go away, especially with the termperature we have been experiencing here.
- Stop greeting everybody on the way, while running. You want to be polite, but you look very stupid when you "breathe out" "Helloogrrllllllarfll". And you cannot avoid the silly comments of the 4 year old girl: "Mummy, why is that man so red. Is he going to die?"
- Do not go running when angry. You will feel great as you evacuate all your bad energy, but "Django with the gun" will be there to kill you in the last kilometre.

That's it. I hope this will be of any use to you maniac runners, bikers, walkers. Oh yes, last thing: when exercising in the gym, make sure the speed control of your running machine is set on kilometres/hour, NOT miles/hour. I almost fell off the machine the other day, when I tried to impress that blonde by starting a quick sprint ( "Dooooooooooooooooooohhhhh" ).

Have a nice day


After long weeks of analysis, I came to the conclusion that Brits must find the following joke funny ( Charles, please confirm ). I don't like it, but please give me your opinion: One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever. The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, a minute later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard, and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?" The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"