Good morning All,
today I'll go to the doctor. 1 month ago, I blocked my back by lifting my cup of coffee, and today I can hardly move. Nice, isn't it?
The worst is in the mornings to get dressed. I can put on my shirt alright, but have to lay down on the floor to put on my trouser.
But wait, wait, the best fun is to put on my socks. Aaaah those damn socks. The left one is alright, because my right back muscle is leaving me in peace, but the right one...I sit there for minutes with the sock in my hand, and concentrate like the skier focusing on his race before his turn. I breathe in slowly, then my head dives, and I literally throw my sock onto my right foot. Shit, I missed, and it's hurting. Should I wake up Karine? Of course she we do it, but come on, imagine me at 6 in the morning:"Honey get up, you have to put me my sock on!...And by the way, can you make me coffee and get me a croissant? Thank youuuuuuuuu!"
Hahahahaha, nononono, here we go again. This time instead of going down, let's slowly lift the right foot. It's working, it's working, it's working, yes, my foot is in! Shiiiit, my small toe is still outside. What a wanker! Come on, grrrrrrrr, let's try again. Next time I'll hire a crane to lift my foot. Okokokok, once more, one,...two,...threee,grrrmblllllllrrmmmbll, yippppeeeeeeeeeee it's in!!! Great, I'm sweating but happy.
Ok now, let's put on my shoes. I hope I won't miss my train.
ONLY IN BRITAIN!
Only in Britain...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. Only in Britain...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process of Government. "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."
Only in Britain...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk in the garage. Only in Britain...do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.
Only in Britain...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Tomorrow: Top 10 Reasons for being Belgian