Monday, 18th June 2001

Damn Cats

Dear All,

I hope your w/e was nice, sunny and relaxing. Mine was, except for the sunny bit.

Sunday 4am, I jump up in bed. There is huge noise in the house. It takes me a while, but I realise it’s Karine’s cats, Tigris and her sister Tinis, who are running and jumping up and down the flat. Occasionally even jumping over our bed. Karine is asleep, she doesn’t notice. The cats are playing. Remember Disney’s “The Aristocats”? There’s that scene where there is a wild party in a house, and the cats are playing jazz and dancing like mad, until the whole floor gives in, and they all start drifting from the top floor to the ground. Well here in our flat, the only thing missing is the piano. Those cats are mad. I shout to keep them quiet, but the only result is Karine mumbling “Why the hell are you making so much noise?” Me, ME????? I can hear them racing through the lounge. It’s like 24 hours of Le Mans. And here they come again, Tinis first, jumping onto our bed, next Tigris with a 180 degrees curve. Lap 10 achieved. I can’t go back to sleep.

Sunday 11am: I go to our bedroom and I see Tinis lying on our bed, a little ball asleep on the quilt. Without thinking, I jump onto the bed, shouting like a madman. The poor cat makes a huge jump and rushes under the bed. Karine has given me big shit for this, but it was worth it. Aaaaaah, what a cool revenge. But no worries 10 minutes later, Tinis is purring in my arms again. Poor cats, they are mad, but they have found someone who is even crazier, hehe.

Have a nice week ahead


Oldie, but Goodie:

A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 lbs., 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs. each, Turner Brown”.The small guy just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks “Are you OK??” In a very weak voice the little guys says, “Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?” The big dude says, “When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I’d give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. “I’m 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs., have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs. each, and my name is Turner Brown.” The small guy says, “Thank Goodness! I thought you said ‘Turn around’”.

Thanks Kim