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ALEX Morning Mail
The World with a Smile
©Alex Alexandrino 2000-2004

Alex, Albufeira 1998, © Karine Rapin Alex, 1998 ©Karine Rapin

Who I am:

Alex Alexandrino
Born 1964 in Lisbon, Portugal
Paris 1965-1970
Luxembourg 1970-1995
London 1995-2002
Luxembourg 2002-today

"I call my penis Alex. It's small and rebellious and gets up early in the morning when no-one is interested." Mike Leighton, 2002

"Alex, wou hells Du d'Zait fir esou e Quatsch ze schreiwen?" Aly Gehlen, Luxembourg, 2002

"Alex, what do you put in your coffee?" Darren Hemple, 2002

"Alex, your name is still engraved on the back of the door of the third lavatory in the gents on the fourth floor, and is often admired for a long time by visitors.." Charles Bailey, Nordea, 2001

"Shut up and listen!" Mikko Lehtonen, Exidio, 2001

"Alex is a customer from hell!" Alan Collins, Merita, 1999

"Alexandrino, Du armer, armer Bambino!" Ali Barthel, class of 1980

"Mr Alexandrino, vous ferez un bon journaliste. Comme eux, vous ecrivez n'importe quoi!" Mr Groff, teacher, 1974

"Alex, Du bass jo keen Volleyballspiller, mee e Publikumsspiller!" Latti, coach, 1982

"Alex, You oily little wanker!" Marko Rossi, Merita, 1994

"Wann een Dir geif e Bengel an den Arsch stiechen, wiers Du eng gudd Lutsch!" Guy Schaack, 2003, about my picture above


Animal Lovers
( published 7th May 2004 )

Hi All,

One of my favourite hobbies is analysing languages. I went through some French expressions ad translated them into English. Funny, funny, funny. Then it struck me how much French love animals. A policeman is a "poulet" ( chicken ), an umbrella spoke is "une baleine de parapluie" ( whale of an umbrella ), and when you want to say a girl is sexy, you say "elle a du chien" ( she has dog )...and then you have full expressions that are completely crazy like "she is cowly owly, she has dog, but she posed him a rabbit, and now he has the cockroach" ( elle est vachement chouette, elle a du chien, mais elle lui a pose un lapin, et maintenant il a le cafard ).
OKOKOK translation is "She is bloody nice, looking sexy, but she stood him up, and now he has the blues ).

Brits on the contrary must hate animals. Don't they call French "frogs"? And, although I know many English who love France, I don't know any who like French...do you?

Have a great weekend

First EU enlargement joke:
A Czech goes to the ophthalmologist who shows him a card with the letters:
"Can you read this?", he asks.
"Read?" the Czech replies, "I even know the guy!"

Second EU enlargement joke:
A lady from Prague goes to the gynaecologist who, after having examined her, looks at her over his glasses and asks:
"Have you had a check-up lately?"
"No," she replies, "but a few Slovaks!"

After Portuguese, French, Americans, English, Luxembourgers, Italians, Jews, Arabs, Whites, Blacks, here we go...Alex you're a dead man!!!

© Alex Alexandrino 2000-2004

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©Alex Alexandrino 2000-2004